This past Valentine's Day I spent the majority of the day at the emergency room. I have a genetic blood clotting disorder and was experiencing some similar symptoms so I wanted to rule out a clot, (thank God it was not a clot)! Sitting there waiting for my results brought me back to the time I actually did have a very serious clot and the Doctors discovered I had this familial condition. I was going through a very stressful divorce at that time and I remember feeling very alone. I've had a few fleeting relationships since that time, but my focus has been on getting my children through college and on not getting my heart broken again.
As I pondered all that has happened I realized that the girl with the rose-colored-glasses had turned into a just-surviving-day-to- day kinda gal. What?! How did I let that happen? I stopped dreaming, stopped hoping and the long, cold New England Winter and Vitamin D deficiency certainly made a contribution. I knew I had to make a change. All work, no adventure can deaden a person's soul. I decided that I would spend every spare penny that I make on L-I-V-I-N-G. The next day I booked an overpriced trip to celebrate my daughter's upcoming college graduation. Optimism, when it is not free-flowing, becomes a choice we have to make and sometimes it requires work to maintain.
I'm going to visit a friend this weekend, a kindred spirit. An honest, spiritual sorta friend who helps me untangle when I become uncentered. Are you naturally optimistic or do you have to work at it?