The Style Cocktail.


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  image: bella grace magazine

image: bella grace magazine

People who have been through difficulties and challenges in life are the ones I find the most interesting. They are empathetic, they are less quick to judge others and they have a wisdom from lessons learned in having had experienced adversity. Although sometimes the adversity they experienced provides a reason for them to sell themselves short. I see it all the time:

“I won’t have kids because I don’t want to put them through what my parents put me though.”

"I don’t know if I believe in marriage after watching my parents ugly divorce."

"I’m just going to be alone because I don’t want to trust my heart to anyone.”

Cycles of abuse, neglect, infidelity or dependency seen in families or relationships are NOT destined to be repeated.  We have free will, we have a right to decide how we will live our lives, what we will tolerate, how we will allow others to treat us and how we will treat others. Every experience leaves us with a bag of collected wisdoms which we can decide to use in order to  free us instead of holding us hostage. 

Someone is not going to be a bad parent just because their parents had poor parenting skills.

Just because someone may have been hurt by infidelity in a relationship it does not mean all future relationships are bound to have a partner who will cheat.

You get the idea. Do you hear this talk amongst friends or acquaintances you know? Do you recognize this pattern in your own life? Adversity is a gift. It helps us evolve, grow and humbles us. It makes us stronger and wiser. Let it make you braver, not fearful...sympathetic, not hard...more willing to help others, not angry that the world owes you something...Let it make you free.