The Style Cocktail.


relationshipsThe Style Cocktail4 Comments

"I worry you are alone too much," my Mother voices her concerns over an otherwise relaxing lunch."

"I'm fine," I respond. 

Mom starts suggesting men who she thinks are options. 

"No, no and no," I respond, "Absolutely not." 

I explain that I would rather be alone than to spend time with someone who doesn't knock my socks off. I tell her I'm not going to settle, in order for me to consider any kind of relationship he would have to ADD to my life. He would have to be adventurous, spontaneous and know how to grab life by the horns. It would have to be someone who made me feel like the best version of myself when I am in his presence. I admit that I have not really put myself out there. Where does a woman of a certain age go to meet men? A hotel bar? Ummm...a single woman alone at a bar spells Call Girl. Working in an environment with all women isn't exactly helping.

I consider Mom's concerns that evening and consider trying online dating against my better instincts. I could look at it as a 30 day experiment I reason with myself. I throw up a 1/2 filled out profile and view my matches. 

"My Mom thinks I'm a catch," is one guys heading. Oh, God bless his poor Mom, with that heading he is never getting any.

I think what bothers me the most is that there are no well dressed men on the site. Just a slew of men in baseball t-shirts and short sleeved dress shirts, the biggest fashion faux-pas next to Birkenstocks with socks. I want to hire my gay friend to give them all fashion sense. Nothing is sexier than a sharp dressed man.

As I scroll the site I feel more disappointed. It's like unwrapping one bad Christmas gift after another. I must be a total bitch I think to myself.

90 percent of the men have their smiling children on their profiles. In what world does anyone think it's okay to expose their children to the dating masses? It's an instant no no in my book. 

There is one dude my age with no shirt. I don't know what is worse... the men wearing short sleeved dress shirts or the dudes with bare chests. He thinks he's the cat's ass. He is looking for 29 year olds and his profile says he wants more children. BS. I can't help myself I inbox him: More kids, seriously?! He responds with, "Noooooo kids!" My BS detector was correct. I hope some poor 29 year old doesn't fall for him, she will be expecting to carry his shirtless child in her empty womb. He gets blocked along with many others.

Messages come into my inbox and I delete them without reading them. I feel over exposed and hate that my heading says divorced suggesting I failed at something.

I feel over exposed and uncomfortable. My instincts were right, online dating is clearly not for me. Writing experiment or not, my 30 days were dwindled down to one hour before my profile was deleted. 

I know online dating has worked for many people and if you found success or enjoy it then I applaud you. As for this girl, I will remain single and if I meet someone special organically then it was meant to be. If not then it was just not meant to be. 

Have you tried online dating? Thoughts?