The Style Cocktail.

The Horrible Guilt That You Carry When Your Break Someone's Heart

emotional pain, memoir, relationshipsThe Style CocktailComment
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One night I was driving home from God knows where and this Adele song came on my Bluetooth in my car. I had heard it dozens of times but on this particular evening I really listened to the lyrics. It spoke every word I was never able to verbalize regarding a former love. Take your eyes off of me so I can leave. I'm far too ashamed to do it with you watching me. 

Realizing that you don't love someone the way they deserved to be loved and knowing that they still love you is the most awful guilt-ridden feeling you can have. I can't stay this time because I don't love you anymore. Don't try to change my mind I'm being cruel to be kind. It's the cruel to be kind part that makes it so hard, nobody wants to feel cruel, and nobody wants to make someone they care about feel pain.

The worse part is when you really want to love them way they should be loved, but you just can't because there is something missing, a part of you is broken or incapable, the timing is wrong....You have given me something that I can't live without. You mustn't underestimate that when you are in doubt, but I don't want to carry on like everything is fine. 

You see the pain in their face each time you see them and it kills you. You want to be their guiding light, not a place of darkness for them. Please don't fall apart. I can't face your breaking heart. I'm trying to be brave. It means the world to me that you are in my life but I want to live and not just survive. Everything changed me and I don't think you can save me. 

It's not your fault if your feelings change, if you need time to yourself or if the timing just is just not right. We all have to be true to ourselves and quite often that is the hardest thing to do.

Have you found yourself in this situation before?  If so, please share your experience as you just might help another person with your response.