I awoke one morning with a scratchy neck only to realize I had fallen asleep in my burgundy turtleneck from the day before. I open one eye reluctantly and spot the empty bowl that held nacho chips from last night’s snack. Binge eating...again. My eyes feel somewhat stuck together and my hand automatically goes up to touch...false eyelashes...Seriously? I slowly pull down the sheets to view the rest of my ensemble, yesterday’s opaque tights. All I can think of is coffee. I drag my ass downstairs and over to the fridge to peek in. Empty, as usual. I remember my friend saying, “Damn, Girl, you are living like a bachelor, put some food in that fridge of yours.” Inside the fridge I find a carton of Simply Smart Milk. I bought it because the expiration date lasts about 2 months which feels like the length of time between my visits to the market. I laid my eyes on a couple of Avocados which definitely needed tossing. There was about ¼ bottle left of stale, inexpensive white wine, Shit! No coffee creamer.
How did I get this way? I used to be a responsible human being who raised smart, educated, polite children. When did Adulting become so difficult? The long answer to that would probably cost me a small fortune, a year worth of weekly visits to a Therapist, who in the end, probably wouldn’t be able to change me. The short answer is adulting sucks, so I do as little of it as I can, because the rest of the time the world is on my shoulders. Don’t get me wrong, I show up for work, pay my bills and am always there for my adult children. I just slack in other ways, but I’m kinda okay with it because I have no desire to be perfect, I like my world the way it is.
Being single for a long time buys you a lot of freedoms: slathering Peanut Butter onto chocolate squares with nobody judging you, no one to tell you to shut down your laptop at 11:30 pm because Netflix is keeping them awake, and the best part...being able to dance the night away for as long as you can shake it because there is no significant other who’s tired, can’t dance and wants to leave.
Does anyone else find Adulting impossible at times? What do you hate most about it?